featured post

so very lost..

"it is said the life you want begins the moment you stop asking the future to save you and start meeting the present as if it already contains everything you need. the change begins when you realize the moment you’re in isn’t missing anything. you are where you need to be." being lost has been quite the theme of my trip metaphorically, because i have really just been winging my every move.but also literally and physically one night in italy, while i was staying at the farm, i

All Posts

a welcome letter♡

hi!!! welcome to my blog! i write to you as i write to myself. some things are realities from lessons learned, some things i am speaking into existence, and some are written from the trenches themselves some days it feels like if i don’t get my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, my brain might explode i created heldbyavery, my instagram account, in early 2025 it marked the beginning of a huge transition. it was when i began to crawl out of the skin i was living in and s

Jan 254 min read

is anything ever really ours

how can someone feel like such a foreigner and so at home in their body at the same time i can almost see her feel her someone my truest self my younger self someone every time i just about have a grip on her she evaporates into the ibis and i am left locked out here with just my human body now i find myself waiting for her again plotting planning how i can lure her in how i can keep her it feels like i have already given up so much of who i was already i have made all of the

Apr 202 min read

so very lost..

Apr 196 min read

a swollen heart - from italy

april 13 i guess sometimes the motivation to start writing is a beautiful new journal bought from a little shop in óbidos, portugal it has been a few days since i have written i have so much to say, so much has happened this sometimes discourages me because i want to properly relay the experiences but what i write cannot be planned or plotted so i will let it stream out of me i am in italy it is now friday and i arrived on monday i have been living entirely where my feet are

Apr 58 min read

from lisbon, with love

i am sitting down to write about my adventures to lisbon this weekend it’s monday late morning now and my body is sore from walking the endless hills that make up the streets of lisbon ive spent all morning laying around and reading dismissing any guilt that arose from this all of thus said walking, is far more than i have been used saturday was like 24,000 + steps which may have been something quite simple in the past, but is new since feeling better lets just say i haven't

Mar 237 min read

the effect tragedies have on me

{i wrote this very shortly after watching wuthering heights while the emotions were still raw. i withdrew from posting because i felt like i had some thoughts to complete about this first. i was trying to understand my own perception of the desire of wanting to feel, even if that feeling is painful. i am revisiting this writing and it still rings true.} i watched wuthering heights twice when it came out i left the theatre a complete disaster both times, as many of us did i re

Mar 184 min read

the grass actually is greener

i look at myself in the same mirror i did here in portugal a year ago and it feels like i am in a completely different body than i was then this makes my skin itch my natural instinct is to think: how do i fix this? what do i do? i guess this voice still lives somewhere within me i write this blog with you knowing that this topic may be just as sensitive to you as it is to me but nothing. i do nothing. i let the urge come and then i let it go. i stand here, i let it be uncomf

Mar 166 min read

coming back to the world

it’s 7:30am as i am writing this. i woke up around 4:30 and couldn’t fall back asleep. since then i have eaten breakfast, watched my show, read my book, had coffee, and laid down with my eyes closed to at least get a bit more rest. then i had the urge to write one day when i was, again, laying in the grass i was wondering, frustratingly, how i can feel this content and at peace yet still be so self critical sometimes what do i have to do? because it isn’t a specific body type

Mar 105 min read

from under the olive tree

i write this to you as i lay under the olive tree on the front lawn writing in my journal first then to be typed out later thats if i can organize my thoughts of course it has not even been a week yet and already i can’t understand how i lived in such a way before i wake up in the morning and step outside onto my grandparents back porch and i can see all of the small town in the distance there is usually a layer of fog. everything is quiet. just a few roosters and birds sin

Mar 86 min read

the art of wintering

ah winter, the season of sitting with yourself the longest. rest. hibernation. shedding. after all, mother nature doesn’t bloom all year round. why would we expect ourselves to? each year, especially after january 1st, there’s this lingering, sometimes obnoxious, pressure to achieve. constantly. maybe that has something, or everything, to do with social media. watching everyone announce their goals, what they are doing this year to grind and glow up. seeing what everyone else

Jan 282 min read

am i too sensitive?

or is the world too hard? from the time I can form my very first memory I have been told I am too sensitive. i have always pondered things long after they finish, gripped tightly onto things long, long after i was supposed to let go, stared at walls after movies end, unable to start a new book until i have grieved the one i finished, taken everything far too personally, loved very deeply, and of course walking through life carrying around what feels like the heaviest of hear

Jan 253 min read

heldbyavery

blogs

perceptions of the world

travel diaries and postcards home

yoga teacher

seasonal pins

recipes

seasons recipes

thrift finds

healing notes

poetry

songs on heavy rotation

happy you are here

welcome to my blog

avery nemisz

held by avery

featured post

so very lost..

Recent Posts

a welcome letter♡

is anything ever really ours

so very lost..

a swollen heart - from italy

from lisbon, with love

the effect tragedies have on me

the grass actually is greener

coming back to the world

from under the olive tree

the art of wintering

am i too sensitive?

instagram

held by avery

featured post

so very lost..

Recent Posts

a welcome letter♡

is anything ever really ours

so very lost..

a swollen heart - from italy

from lisbon, with love

the effect tragedies have on me

the grass actually is greener

coming back to the world

from under the olive tree

the art of wintering

am i too sensitive?

​

instagram